Why is online dating so hard? – Ask Priscilla

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Dear Priscilla,

I am recently divorced and decided I am ready to slowly dive back into the dating scene.  My friends are convinced that online dating is the way to go.  I am on a couple if free sites.  I get a lot of initial emails but when I try to talk and get to know them, they disappear and many come back weeks later.  Why is this happening?

Virtually Confused

Dear Virtually Confused,

getting back lack into the dating game after a lengthy lapse is a challenge in itself, but diving head first into online dating is a whole different beast with a new set of rules.  Online dating is a safe haven for conflict avoidance and multiple opportunity.

Because online dating provide a sense of mystery and animosity, men have more capability than ever before.  Translated: They can date multiple women simultaneously without being exposed.  The goal of finding a partner is the same between men and women, but men desire the variety.  While women tend to explore one potential partner at a time, many men prefer the process of elimination approach.

There is no right or wrong approach, but if a guy disappears and then suddenly returns then one of the following things may have happened:

  • You were not one of his ideal first selections and are on a fall back list
  • He may still be involved
  • He may be emotionally unavailable
  • He wasn’t patient enough to get to know you
  • He is looking for a quick one night fix

No matter the reason he is wrong and you should revisit that prospect.

Good luck getting back in the game.

Priscilla

*If you have a question for Priscilla, please submit to AskPriscillaAdvice@gmail.com

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