I am sure I am not the only girl out there in this situation, but I am lost and feel defeated. My boyfriend is a huge pothead and a gamer. He stays up most nights til 3 AM or later playing interactive games with players around the world. His ambition level for anything else is close to zero. I love to go hiking, the beach, bar hop and dance and anytime I suggest any of those, he just makes excuses. He is usually on the couch smoking when I get home from work or from my parents house. We still occasionally have sex, but not nearly as much as we used to. I feel like I lost him already to a bunch of basement dwelling gamers.
I don’t get it. I have boobs and energy. That used to be enough. Should I give up and move on?
Losing the game
Dear Losing the game,
It is rare that I recommend the ending of a relationship. I believe wholeheartedly in love and the preservation of partnerships. The psychological ramifications of an addictive personality can have a very negative impact on those around as well as the individual themselves. When an addictive personality falls prey to this type of behavior, it can be very difficult for one person to pull them out. What often helps is a major change in their surroundings.
A threat of a break up or a break up in reality may knock him out of his spell and force him to make a decision. I don’t know how aggressive you have been with him about how much this is adversely affecting you, but if you have been passive to date, you need to be forceful about your concerns. If he still shows no empathy toward you and your relationship together, I think it is time to move on and separate yourself from this.
In time, he will bring you down to his level and your energetic lifestyle will fall prey to a couch and some Doritos.
You need to take action soon and focus on your best interests.
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